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Archive for August, 2018

“In the end, it is always character that moves history, for good or ill.” John McCain

Our nation is experiencing a spiritual divide, the likes of which it has not seen in decades. Some journalists have called the 2020 election the most important contest since 1865! In death, McCain has emerged as a giant of character. Perhaps the contrast between Trump’s partisanship and lack of loyalty to anyone who doesn’t serve his purposes was the perfect foil for McCain’s star to sparkle ever brighter in death.

At Affordable Relationship Counseling, Dr. Barbara Cunningham emphasizes the notion that all good therapy, no matter what the presenting issue, results in a more robust sense of acting in line with one’s highest principles. When one emerges from therapy with a more polished character, one’s posture in the face of relational challenge is always more effective. I am convinced of that fact. Let’s use the example of Senator McCain to consider what that looks like.

It can be tricky to define “character.” McCain’s behavior personified it:

  • He remained loyal to his peers, even though it meant torture for several more years when he was a POW.
  • He had the capacity and humanness to reach across the aisle to understand another viewpoint.
  • He could disagree without becoming disagreeable.
  • He could be an “I” when his whole group screamed to be a “We.” (Thumbs down on critical Healthcare vote)
  • He knew where he stopped and his party began.
  • He conducted himself with honesty and dignity.

How does your own character stack up against a statesman like McCain? How would your loved ones and closest friends describe your temperament, behaviors when under pressure, and capacity for empathy? Do you have a bottom line? Are you clear on what you will and will not do in important relationship dynamics? Do you know where you stop and the other person begins? Is your word your bond or do you act in “bad faith?”

Therapy can help you write your own story in a way that sparkles with actions made in “good faith.” Call Dr. Barbara Cunningham, licensed marriage and family therapist in San Diego, at 619 9906203 for a complimentary consultation. You wont’t regret it. Namaste.

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